Story Of A 'LOGOPHILE'

'I was left just as bamboozled as you were’, ‘there must've been shenanigans going on to make things go wrong’, ’I was a flibbertigibbet, obsessing on other things’. Ha.. don’t be fooled by the words I use. Finding and using new words in my conversation and writing has become one of my favorite hobbies. Whenever I come across new words or phrases, I get excited. If you have been reading my blog or Instagram, you may have noticed, all those fancy big words I have been using. While writing or editing, I would highlight the words that I wanted to change. Then I would google for synonyms or words which I could use instead.

Writing is inevitable to me. That is how I process and heal my inner world. For a writer, words are the bridge to connect to the reader's mind. I started writing when I was 7 or 8. At that time, I used to write in Malayalam. Other than my English exams, I had never written anything else in English, though I very much wanted to do so. On the other hand, though I admired people who could use a variety of words in their conversation or writing, I could not bring myself to use big or new words, as I felt I would be showing off or that it was unnecessary. However, as I started to write out of necessity, in order to communicate and to sort out my inner dilemmas, I realized that I was unable to explain or convey exactly what was on my mind or the intensity of my emotions or experiences. I had all these ideas and concepts about a lot of things around me, but it was all locked up inside. It was very frustrating, and I became desperate to communicate and express myself clearly, for my own sake. That is how I started searching for the right words and phrases to express myself.

In the absence of an appropriate word, the idea you wish to convey appears only like a black and white image. Whenever I was experiencing physical pain, I found it hard to explain to others how I felt. I used to say ‘ it is very painful’ and I received mild responses like a nod or a confused expression from my loved ones. The word ‘very’ was not enough to express the intensity of the pain was going through. When I discovered adjectives like ‘excruciating’ or began to say that ‘I feel like that someone is trying to rip my bones apart’, others began to get a better idea about the intense pain I was going through.

Once, when I was helping Amma to create an Instagram account for her music, I was trying to describe the purpose of the account. I wrote and rewrote the text several times. For Instance, I described the page as ‘ a place to show talents’ or ‘ diversity of music’. I was not satisfied because I felt that the text didn’t convey the exact purpose and intent of the account. Then Amma suggested the expression, ‘ eclectic repertoire ‘. That was the first time I heard it and those words stayed stuck in my head. Later, I came across the word ‘ repertoire’ in a dialog from a Netflix series, I had been watching. I was ecstatic and excited to have recognized and understood the meaning of that word.

On another occasion, I had picked up an idiom that I desperately wanted to use. So I followed Amma around the house, waiting for her to put down her reading glasses. The minute she did that, I jumped in front of her and yelled ‘without your glasses you are as blind as a bat’. She was shocked at first, but then she started laughing. I realized that her laugh was an appreciation for my efforts to improve my English. Having to learn the ‘ Glossary’ during English classes was a terrible experience for most of us. In my experience, it was a lame process. We were forced to underline and to learn big, complicated words, which we never really had a chance to use in our day- to- day lives. I didn’t understand then, why we had to do that? What difference would it make, if we used ‘joyful’ or ‘delighted’ instead of ‘happy’? Why should we even try using ‘delighted’ instead of ‘happy’ ?‘

Later, when I started writing seriously, I discovered the artistry of words. I was fascinated and became addicted to the process of learning new words and phrases. While reading, or listening to podcasts, conversations, and dialogues from movies or series, if I come across a new word or expression, I have made it a habit to note it down. I also try to understand its meaning as well as how and where to use the word. So, what I’m trying to explain is that words, especially adjectives, help us communicate better to express our deepest emotions and our life experiences with the same intensity and depth that we feel, to express our dilemmas, conflicts, our observations and discoveries in the right spirit. Exploring and experiencing the world of words has been um!!well, I still haven’t found a proper word to express it, but I guess we can settle for, ‘mind-blowing’ for now. I know that I am not a great communicator. However, I will continue to make an effort to be one. So, I write my blog not just to share my ideas, but also as an exercise to improve my communication skills in English. Having said that, I am neither a hard worker nor a nerd. I am inconsistent and do not always practice all the things that I mentioned above. Ever since I started building up my word, phrase library, I have picked up many a word and expression. They are all idly floating inside my head. I may never be able to use all of them right now or in the near future, but I am hoping that one day, they will be set free. Let this New Year be the year of new words and may I be able to grow as an effective communicator or writer. I hope to continue to build and strengthen the bridge of words and phrases to connect with my readers.